For most of my life, I walked in darkness. My identity was wrapped up in performance and social status whether on the court, in the classroom, or in my career at NASA. But a few years ago, everything began to shift. I moved to Huntsville, Alabama for a dream job at NASA, believing I was stepping into the life I had worked so hard to build. But while I came here for career opportunity, God was quietly preparing to change something far deeper than my profession. He was calling me into transformation.

About a year after arriving, I joined F3, a men’s fitness, fellowship, and faith group that meets before sunrise in what we call “The Gloom”. It was the first time I met men who didn’t just believe in God but actually walked with Him. Every man in F3 gets a callsign, and since the NASA rocket launch I work on had just been scrubbed the day before, mine became “Scrubbed.”

At first, I didn’t like the nickname and truthfully, I left the circle disappointed. But what I didn’t know at the time was that this name would become part of my identity but not because of my involvement in F3, but because to the Father, I am scrubbed clean by the blood of Jesus.

It’s no longer just a nickname. It’s an identity. 

It’s no longer a callsign. It’s a calling.

Not long after one of the men invited me to a young adult event at his church. I went with another friend who had a similar story to mine and that night, God blessed us with what would become our close community. I wasn’t instantly changed by F3 or this group, but it opened me up to church, friendships rooted in Christ, and a whole new rhythm of life. At that point, I knew of Jesus… but I didn’t have a relationship with Him.

A few months later as I grew closer to this new community, then everything came to a halt when I was asked:

“What is the most important thing in your life?”

And I didn’t have an answer. I had so many blessings… but every one of them fell short.
Because deep down, despite every blessing around me, I was still searching for something they couldn’t give me. The world had given me so much to build an identity on whether performance, achievement, status, success but none of it could answer the deeper question of purpose. It offered much in quantity, but nothing that could truly satisfy.

I had answers for what I did, what I achieved, and what I wanted… but not for who I truly was. For the first time, I realized I had spent my life building an identity around things that could never actually hold the weight of who I was.

Just days later, another friend invited me to join Alpha, a course designed for new believers and skeptics exploring faith. Honestly, I didn’t join because I was searching for God. I joined to support my friend who was leading it. At the time, I still thought fulfillment could be found in the life I was already building. I wasn’t looking for transformation; I was just showing up for someone I cared about.

But week after week, God used those conversations, questions, and quiet moments to slowly soften my heart. What I thought was simply an invitation from a friend became an invitation from God Himself. But as I attended, that same question started to creep back into my heart.

It was like the beating of a drum…

And in the stillness of life, it only grew louder.

My hunger for God grew and so did the drumbeat. I started going to two churches every Sunday. Then during one Alpha session, I saw a painting called The Light of the World, based on Revelation 3:20 where Jesus is standing at the door of our hearts, knocking to be let in. 

Two weeks later, I saw it again at church.

And that’s when I knew…

This wasn’t just a question anymore.

It was Jesus… knocking on the door of my heart, asking to be let in.

At the end of the service, the pastor mentioned that the following Sunday was Baptism Sunday. My heart was pounding with that same unrelenting drumbeat. In that moment, I finally opened the door. I immediately signed up after church to be baptized. I surrendered the life and identity I had spent years building and said yes to the new one He was offering.

And when I finally let Him in, I realized the peace and fulfillment I had been searching for was never found in what I could achieve, but in who I belonged to. The emptiness I had spent years trying to outrun suddenly met the full presence of Jesus who had been pursuing me all along.

On May 7, 2023, I stepped into the water and was baptized. I publicly proclaimed my faith in the finished work of Jesus and committed to living for eternal purpose instead of mere impact. As I came up out of the water, I knew I had been scrubbed clean, not by the water, but by the blood of Jesus. The old life and false identities were washed away, and I rose into the new life He had already given me the moment I opened the door and let Him in. The peace and fulfillment I had been searching for wasn’t something I had to achieve anymore. It was the presence of Jesus I now belonged to.

For the first time, I found something the world could not take away, and I finally answered the question that had been pounding on my heart:

“Jesus. This is who I am. This is who God called me to be. This is the most important thing in my life.”

From that moment forward, everything changed.

God had scrubbed the false identities of performance, image, achievement I had built my life on and gave me a new one: Redeemed. Repurposed. Redirected.

And now?
I’m sent.

I began studying the Bible and filling notebooks. But I felt called to share what I was learning because you never know how a single message might impact someone else. It started as texts to friends… then turned into multi-page devotionals… and now a site to reach even more. It started as something to help me but soon, I realized He was also using them to speak through me to encourage others, remind them they’re not alone, and point them back to the Truth. Whether you’re wrestling with doubt, searching for purpose, or simply trying to understand who God created you to be, may these words help you feel seen, strengthened, and sent.

With gratitude and grace,
Christopher James Vander Wal
Redeemed. Repurposed. Redirected.
Founder of Scrubbed and Sent

Revelations 3:20 

“²⁰ Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me.”